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Thank you listening to Paired Season Three! Be sure to leave a review if you enjoyed this episode!
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Credits:
Creator/Writer/Producer - Liz Anderson
Unnamed Scientist - Jonah Cooper
Editor/Composer - MJ
Cover Art - Adrian Theuma
Theme Music - Arne Parrot
Jonah Cooper is a queer comedian & artist whose work is focused primarily in the strange and uncanny. Her work has been featured on Cracked, FunnyorDie, Zach Braff's youtube channel and more! Follow her at @jonahformayor.
WE HEAR THE SOUND OF A WIRELESS SPEAKER CONNECTING TO A
DEVICE.
PAIRY
Opening app: Email. Searching
messages. Search terms - messages with
attachment. Messages plus attachment
type, .mov. Search result: three
messages.
First message. Email dated-
(Static sounds.)
Message to: Recipient unknown. Message
subject: (No Subject). Message body
reads: message body is empty. Message
attachment: Video 342.mov. Attachment
size: 45 MB. Now playing: Video
342.mov.
THE SOUND OF SOMEONE SPEAKING ON A VIDEO - A LITTLE STATICY.
VIDEO
Hello! Ah, whoops--sorry, sorry. Just
gotta lean the phone up against -
there we go. Anyway...hey! This is me,
sending the prototype specs you asked
for. I’ll send the brief right after
this, but I just wanted you to see how
everything’s looking. And heeeere...it
is! Fun, right?
(MORE)
Don’t be mad, but yes, this is the
casing from the Bluetooth you left on
the patio. It weirdly works great,
because, look here, and here, you’ve
got built-in ventilation, and of
course the existing processors. We
could even utilize the audio parts for
something, that’s an easy change.
Don’t worry, I’ll buy you a new one
when you get back. Or maybe I can
finally convince you to listen to your
sad podcasts on a set of headphones,
like a human. Anyway, back to
business! Let’s open ‘er up.
You can see the panels here, and here.
Not exactly the orientation we talked
about, but they’re operating just like
we thought. I’ll put it up to the
light - so you can see the casing
picking up radiant UV, the panels
inside aren’t actually harnessing the
waves themselves. But if you look at
the reader here...yep. Just like a
solar panel under direct exposure.
VIDEO (CONT'D)
(MORE)
2.
Listen, it’s, like...ahhhh, it’s so
cool! Sorry but, it’s like, we’re
powering stuff with, like, the idea of
energy, you know? And it works! It
really works! God. I’m so stoked. Ah!
Anyway, that’s it. Wish you were here
to see it! It makes this fun little
whirring sound, it’s great. You’d be
so excited. Anyway, gonna run a few
more tests tomorrow, I’ll send you
those when I have them. Bye! Love ya,
see you soon.
PAIRY
Message concluded.
Second message. Email dated-
(Static sounds.)
Message to: Recipient unknown. Message
subject: (No Subject). Message body
reads: message body is empty. Message
attachment: Video 401.mov. Attachment
size: 23 MB. Now playing: Video
401.mov.
VIDEO
Here we go - let me prop you up
here...Hi! Hi. Sorry, a little
frazzled, been a long day over here.
VIDEO (CONT'D)
(MORE)
3.
I didn’t hear back from you about last
week’s schematic so I just sort
of...went ahead I guess? It’s all
reversible, of course, so if anything
goes sideways or if you don’t like it
we won’t need to go back to square
one. I gotta say, this would be going
a lot faster if I weren’t doing it in
the attic. But, I get it, the labs are
all tied up right now - as are you.
Ha.
Anyhoo, everything’s going well. The
catchment - that’s what I’ve been
calling it - it’s still generating at
max capacity, not seeing any loss of
efficiency, even over multi-hour
tests. One thing, I mentioned this in
January but never really got an answer
from you; I tested to see what other
types of waves it could detect, see
what else it would potentially be able
to gather and...listen. There’s a lot.
There are some signatures in there
where I’m not even sure where it’s
gathering them from.
VIDEO (CONT'D)
(MORE)
4.
So much so, that there’s a - there’s a
real chance that there’s a more being
collected than we thought. A lot more.
I’ve been trying to figure out ways to
see if we need to manually discharge
that energy, but...I don’t think so.
It all seems fine. It’s either getting
naturally shed or it’s all
just...gathering. Just sitting there.
Like I said, nothing huge, just weird.
Those are all the updates!
(Beat.)
Hey, so, let me know if you’re wanting
to take a break on this for a little
bit. It seems like there’s a little
less enthusiasm on your end, which is
totally fine! Not life and death over
here. I’m happy to keep playing with
it, but it feels like its both of our
babies so...yeah.
Speaking of babies, Ellie was
wondering if you could call later this
week to go through some geometry
stuff.
VIDEO (CONT'D)
(MORE)
5.
If you can’t, I’ll - actually, no,
nevermind. I know you’re booked this
week. I’ll let her know.
(Beat.)
Weather’s been nice. Sunny. Can’t
think of what Seattle must be like
right now. I don’t envy you!
Oh! Did I tell you that MIT guy called
again? Yeah, I kinda no-sold him. The
offer was...it’s getting ridiculous.
With that amount of money just build a
new physics wing, am I right? No way.
We’ve got our whole life here.
Miss you. A lot. Give us a call when
you get the chance. Bye!
PAIRY
Message concluded. Third message.
Email dated-
(Static sounds.)
Message to: Recipient unknown. Message
subject: (No Subject). Message body
reads: message body is empty. Message
attachment: Video 624.mov. Attachment
size: 10 MB. Now playing: Video
624.mov.
VIDEO (CONT'D)
6.
VIDEO
Hey. So.
Listen. I know you’re seeing these. Or
maybe you’re opening but not watching,
but, whatever. I’m done packing. We’re
flying out tomorrow and the van will
meet us in a week.
I told the new owners - her name is
Barb, and her father is - what am I
doing? You don’t care. I told them I’m
giving you two weeks and if you
haven’t grabbed whatever you have here
by then they can donate it. I’m not
dragging your stuff to Boston just to
have it sit in the basement for
another decade.
Gonna pick this camera up real
quick... as you can see, everything is
here, just like you left it. Show this
to your lawyers, so they know I didn’t
take any of your precious water-
damaged blueprints or whatever.
You know that was messed up, right?
The last time, on the phone?
(MORE)
7.
I would hope that after all these
years, even if we’re not partners, you
would respect me enough as your
colleague to treat me like a human.
Whatever. I don’t need you on my team
anymore. I am officially releasing
myself from that concern.
BEAT.
Listen. If you’re actually watching
this, can I give you some advice? As a
favor to whoever I was to you: You
can’t convince people not to feel what
they feel. I know that scares you
because it’s out of your control.
Those moments when you use your
brilliant logic to win the argument,
and then you go to bed confident that
you’re the victor? Remember, that
person on the other side? That person
goes to bed, still feeling the same
thing, whether you like it or not. You
didn’t change a thing. You won
nothing.
Let people feel. Or you’re going to
end up very, very alone.
VIDEO (CONT'D)
(MORE)
8.
Ok. That’s it. Keys are under the mat.
Don’t call. Bye.
PAIRY
Message concluded.