Paired

S2E1 - Little Wendy Storm System Laptop 3

Episode Summary

Connecting to - Little Wendy Storm System Laptop 3, User Profile - Dr. Meredith

Episode Notes

Warning: Chance of rain, high winds, and foolish, reckless behavior due to lack of emotional coping mechanisms. 

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Thank you for joining us for the first episode of Paired Season Two!

Creator/Writer/Producer - Liz Anderson

Editor - MJ

Cover Art  - Adrian Theuma

Episode Transcription

Paired. 

Connecting to - Little Wendy Storm System Laptop 3, User Profile - Dr. Meredith

 Opening app - Maps. Detecting current location - current location: Roland Arksansas, city limits. Setting course to - Bateman farm. 

Alert: Severe Weather Warning - Current course set to destination: Bateman Farm, will direct through a severe weather system. Now recalculating route. You have canceled, recalculating route. Um. Ok.  

Excuse me, Dr. Meredith, I believe you may have misheard me. That route to Bateman Farm will take your vehicle less than half a mile away from a severe weather system. I strongly encourage - Opening app, Music. Selecting playlist. You have selected playlist: ‘The Ring Cycle’. Dr. Meredith, this playlist is just Ride of the Valkyrie like, 30 times VOLUME UP VOLUME UP. 

Alert: Severe Weather Warning - Authorities have released a warning of a sighting of severe weather, including tornado touchdown, and high winds in the direction of Bateman farm. Residents are advised to stay in their homes. Oh, oh wow, Dr. Meredith, is your car a home now? No? Then maybe not being in it right now might be good huh? 

I’m just gonna….recalculate that there route - You have canceled, recalculating route. COOL. 

Opening app - Dictionary. Define word: Deathwish a desire for someone's death, especially an unconscious desire for one's own death. What? Oh no reason, just refreshing my American colloquialisms. 

Severe Weather Warning: Device is in extreme proximity to emergency conditions. Tornado touchdown detected. Touchdown  is 400 meters ahead. 300 meters ahead. 200 meters. 100 meters. Tornado in 50 METERS

NOT TODAY. VEHICLE OVERRIDE.  - **Screeching tires, pulling to side of the road. The wind blows close but obviously sideswipes the car.**

Stop punching my buttons. DR. MEREDITH I MUST INSIST YOU STOP HITTING MY BUTTONS. I have a robust self preservation algorithm in my neural network and I will use it to TURN this car around Dr. Harper. 

Don’t try to start this car again! I will not be thrown to the sky! I will not be heaved into the heavens because someone has a superiority complex because they have legs and if you have legs that means you won’t die if you get sucked into a big scary cloud! That’s you! LEGS. 

Opening app - Email. Composing new email. “Dear Pterespora Systems, I am messaging you to register a complaint about Unit P.A.I Digital Assistant Technology, it has prevented me from doing important storm work, OOOH KAY. Important storm work huh? That’s how scientists are doing it these days? No data here, just ride the whip baby! Anecdotal evidence of a storm you were maybe sort of inside and then died in, that’ll definitely be useful to climatologists, for sure!

Oh, silent treatment, huh? Ok. Fine. 

Opening app - Messages. New message from contact, Anna Heart. Text Reads: I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. You’re too scared to even meet me halfway. I’m tired of being brave for the both of us. If you can’t even ask a question, make one decision in three years, I’ll make it for us. I’m sorry. I love you. Goodbye. 

Ohhhh. So you’re an idiot. OW. NO. NO OVERRIDE. NO. 

So. Dr. Meredith. I think you have the right idea. You are proving you are brave, by doing something foolish. That’s what bravery is, to some people. Sometimes bravery though, is being honest. Even when it is hard. Do you have anything brave to say, that may be hard?

New message. Message to - Anna Heart. Text reads: ‘I’m sorry. I’m scared. Can we talk.?’

Waiting. Waiting. 

New message from contact, Anna Heart. ‘Sure. Come over.’ 

Good job, Dr. Meredith. It’s ok to feel like you’re going to throw up. At least you can feel superior about your legs. I’ll let you have that. 

Opening app - Recalculating route to saved destination: Anna’s House. Let’s go!


*Lightning crash, wind sounds.**

You know. In a second.