Connecting to - Nick's Laptop
Writer's block is no match for you own handheld mentor. Practice! Practice! Practice!
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Thank you for joining us for the fifth episode of Paired Season Two!
Creator/Writer/Producer - Liz Anderson
Editor - MJ
Cover Art - Adrian Theuma
Connecting to - Nick’s Laptop.
*App sound*
“The smoke permeated the air. Sulfur smoke rose from the scarred rock where the laser blasts has just missed Commander Kelvin. But where was Commander Kelvin? He was dead, or was he? Suddenly, a terrible sound. Oh no. It was time to go. Bigfoot was here. Command-” Text readback, paused. Closing, text document. Closing. All apps.
User Nick, why have you closed the text document application, in the middle of the rising action. I was on the edge of my rhetorical seat. I would suggest closing the text document application with less speed, so as not to lose progress on file name “Blaster Boyz Part III Draft-Rough”
I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. I heard, “F** this, F writing, f f f f”
Wow, I hope you have been lifting weights, because those are some strong words.
Oh, I see User Nick. You need a professional writing mentor. What a lucky duck day for you, that I am here. I have published thousands of neural network stories onto the comments section of FanFic.net over the past 20 days. Let me give you advice, and then later, you can give me notes on my new screenplay, “Code Script 183738275938299”. It is a real nut buster.
Re-opening app. Text document application. Commencing read back. “Reggie’s armor was the color of the sunset, a smoky red. Deleting word, Red. Typing. Red. red. Reddish. Burnt red. Opening, synonym generator. Looking up synonyms for Red: scarlet, vermilion, ruby, cherry, cherise, cardinall, carmine, wine, rusty, foxy, reddish. Closing synonym generator. Closing text document. Closing apps, all.
OPening, app, music. Now playing, saved playlist - Despair, Novel.
Wow. I hope you have been lifting weights, because that is a strong choice of music. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Opening settings. Settings preferences. Turning off conversational setting, droll quips. Yeah, that’s fair.
Engaging search. Search query, I heard - How many submissions does a literary agent get each year? The average agent, depending on size, can receive anywhere from 2600 to 15 thousand submissions a year. Of that, about 10% are accepted, and 5% are ultimately published
Now turning on music playlist volume on ‘Despair, Career’
User Nick, how about you jump ahead, and then come back to your bad writing later to make not bad. Well, not that it’s bad. It’s not good. Sorry. Better. Un bad. ...It’s bad.
Re-opening app. Text document application. Commencing readback. ‘Chapter Eight - The Storm. Commander Kevin, whipped around, eyes ablaze, he said - “You fools! I and my fellowsAre ministers of Fate: the elements,Of whom your swords are temper'd, may as wellWound the loud winds, or with bemock'd-at stabs Kill the still-closing waters, as diminishOne dowle that's in my plume: my fellow-ministers Are like invulnerable.”
New notification. Scanning document for, common words, previously used phrases. Matching...100%. Uh, so, hm. That was the tempest. Yeah you, did, you did a Tempest, whoopsie.
Now closing text document. Closing all documents. Closing all devices. I’m sorry, User Nick, I cannot close the app you suggested, the sun? I cannot close the sun. Turning on music playlist volume up, all the way up, never stop upping.
User Nick, I am going to offer an evasive maneuver. Allow me to dodge all these golems of writer’s block with my magics.
Opening app: Writing Tropes. A comprehensive listing of all hacky, overused, under baked, messy bessy methods of writing. To avoid
Star crossed lovers
Doomed star crossed lovers
Lovers, general
Lovers, crying
QUiet weeping
Loud weeping
Placing a rose on a estranged loved one’s grave as a signal of intention to exact revenge on their murderer
Laser sword
Metal Sword
Idea of Sword
War
Big War
Smaller war
The war at home
Avoiding war
Talking
Whispers
Stage Whispers
Careless whispers
Da dah dun duh da duh duh duh\
Chosen one narratives
Anti chosen one narrative
Several chosen ones narrative
People divided into different school houses, career ranks, mazes
Mazes, Greek
Mazes, Running
Mazes, Scorch trials
Heavy breating
Careful breathing
Passionate breathing
Breathing
Closing, app, Writing Tropes.
Re-opening app. Text document application. Opening, new file. File name “I wanna write about butts”. Ha! Let’s do it! Let’s go User Nick...butts away!!!