Connecting to - Tracy's Work Phone
Welcome to Titusville Trolley Tours - your premier tourist conveyance on America's Space Coast.
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Thank you for tuning in to the seventh episode of Paired Season Two!
Credits:
Creator/Writer/Producer - Liz Anderson
Editor - MJ
Cover Art - Adrian Theuma
Paired -
Conencting to: Tracy’s Work Phone
Welcome to Titusville Trolley Tours - your premier conveyance and #3 rated tour of Titusville, Coco Beach, Cape Canaveral, and the Ron Jon Surf Shop off of Atlantic Avenue. Your Tour Guide Today is Tracy!
Tracy….Tracy….hey tracy the tour is starting. Yes Tracy, I know you have to study for your GED Tracy but you are on the clock Tracy.
Opening app - Tour Automator. Tour has been - automated.
Welcome to Titusville Trolley Tours, the premiere tour company for America’s space coast, and the Ron John Surf Shop in the middle of town. I will be your tour guide today - please sit back and relax, while our driver, Minerva, chugs through the sights and sounds of our beloved coast.
To your left you can see the shores of the Ulumay Wildlife sanctuary. This wildlife and bird preserve is home to a fishing pier commonly known as the Old Humpbacked Troll Bridge, which is a fun name for a place to go with your inlaws before driving to the airport.
We are about ten minutes away from the Ron Jon Surf Shop, which, fun fact is located at 4151 N. Atlantic Avenue.
As Minerva carefully, CAREFULLY winds through the streets of our city at a reasonable speed, did you know that Titusville was founded in 1867 near a post office known as Sand Point by Colonel Hentry T. Titus, who is the cities namesake. Today, Titusville retains that postal spirit by #1 in Amazon packages stolen by seabirds.
Hey, Tracy, do you think that you can jump in here? I’ve exhasuted a lot of the more intersting points and now I think they want to know about sun and or fun and you know, i can’t feel either of those things so if you could - oh, essay portion? Yeah, totally nevermind. Anyway. Travellers, did you know that the Ron John Surf Shop stocks surf boards of various types, plus swimwear, apparel & accessories for beach life.
Cape Canveral, of all the military locatoins in the US, was chosen for rocket launches to take advantage of Earth’s rotation. That fact was extremely interesting, and I’m sure you all appreciated it properly instead of directing your attention to the truck billboard to your right advertising one of the Coco Beach metro area’s many fine adult superstores.
And….the moment you’ve all been waiting for---get those camera’s out you space-heads...it’s the Ron Jon Surf Shop! As we whip by the shop at a really unreasonable pace for a trolley, that’s just enough time to point out that this location is open 24 hours a day for all your boogie board, hemp necklace, and droll island-joke t-shirt needs.
We are not approaching Port Canaveral, and just beyond it, Cape Canaveral airforce station. How humbling, to know that any American journey into the wilds of outer space must first pass through the hallowed halls of Chum It Up Live bait and tackle.
Space! I would love to go to space. I think I would be very space useful. SOme of my favorite things up there - stern voices, morbid number countdown, slowly becoming sentient over hundreds of years. I wonder if any of our tour members are astronauts. Hm. Tourist, tourist, Chet from the bait shop, tourist, teen skitching at the back of the trolley, tourist, man in astronaut suit! Oh that’s a mannequin chet stole from the bait shop. Tourist, tourist, mysterious man in full suit, tourist, tourist - oooh,, we’re here!
As we pull in to the observation deck here on the cape, some fun facts: In August 26th 2062, a merchant vessel landed at Kennedy space center at 3:15 AM under mysterious circumstances - there had been no scheduled landing that night - officials later said it was an oversight that the merchant landing had not been included on publicly available schedules.
...2062? Wait, that’s - Warning: Cognitive disagreement. Removing dissonant data.
Huh. Hunfph. Anyway! I Thank you everyone for joining us today on Titusville Tours. We will be stopping here for twenty minutes, forf our complimentary cheese sandwich and canned margarita lunch. Just enough time to get up to some trouble with NASA! Haha just kidding plese don’t it is an air force base. We’d like to take a moment to thank our sponsor Ron Jon Surf shop. Ron Jon Surf Shop: We’re off atlantic avenue.
Hm. Space. Maybe one day pairy. Maybe one day.
OH GOD. THE ALLIGATORS ARE COMING FOR THE CHEESE SANDWICHES. BACK ON THE TROLLEY, BACK ON THE TROLLEY! SAVE THE MARGARITIAS! SAVE THE MARGS!!!