Connecting to - Jessie's Phone
Good evening campers - it's time to gather for our weekly bonfire at Camp Lakeside.
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Thank you for tuning in to Paired Season Two!
Credits:
Creator/Writer/Producer - Liz Anderson
Editor - MJ
Cover Art - Adrian Theuma
Paired
Connecting to -Jessie’s Phone
Opening app - Messages. New message from contact: Camp Director Angry Face Emoji. Message reads: ‘Counselors - Bonfire tonight set to begin at 7:00 PM. Please have everything set up no later than 6:45 PM. Thank you. P.S. Please no lighter fluid.” New message: “I mean it this time. Every time we have to call the fire department our insurance goes up.” New message: “I swear to god.” New Message: “For real.” New Message: “Get it together you little Pyros.”
Ahh, another beautiful day at Camp Lakeside. Just me, and my good friends Counselor Jesse and Counselor Emily, on our way to build a fire. Soon we will roast marshmallows and celebrate another day of keeping campers from drowning, keeping campers from falling, keeping campers from fighting, and keeping campers from going into anaphylactic shock. Success!
Ah, the fire pit - a classic bonding space for the modern camp youth. You two go on ahead. I’ll provide moral support. Openign App: Camp Assistant - a helpful guide for survival in the near-to-civilization woods. For when you wanto camp, but not like, CAMP.
I must say, Counselor Jesse and Counselor Emily, as the halcyon days of summer wind down, it has been simply delightful to see your courtship blossom. Watching two authority figures fall in love over eggs from a box is what camp is all about. Congrats!
Opening app: Music. Setting playlist to: Campfire Building, comma, romantic.
Stopping playlist. Playlist has been switched to, Campfire building, comma, regular. Oh, yes, sure. I know it’s over the top, but I love love!
Camp Assistant prompt - building a fire: Step 1. Create your fire bed. Youre fire bed should be on bare earth. Rake away any plant material, and taking particular care to clear away any dry plant material. Gather in dirt and place it in the center of your cleared area. Form the dirt into a platform that’s about 3-4 inches thick.
Wow. You two are really hard at work on this bonfire. No chatting at all. If you do not chat, how am I supposed to show off the new app I downloaded!
Opening app - Tone Detection. Counselor Jessie and Counselor Emily, look! With this app, I am able to now “read the room”, and gather information from an environment’s emotional atmosphere! Let me run a scan now: Scanning enviroment for tone. Tone detected. Tone is - Stilted.
Well that simply won’t do. This is not a healthy environment in which to raise a fire. Allow me to correct this deviation in tone, with good memories. I will now cheer you up by loudly recalling calendar events you two have shared in the recent past.
JUNE 5th - COUNSELOR TRAINING. Counserlor Jessie and Counselor Emily spent 45 minutes building a deck chair together.
JUNE 7TH - CAMPERS ARRIVE. Counselor Jessie and Counselor Emily spend most of day at tennis courts, teaching presumably tennis
JUNE 10th - TRIP INTO TOWN. Counselor Jessie and Counselor Emily purchased scoops of ice cream at the same time.. Our systems detected laughter, polite, and then later, laughter, genuine.
JUNE 11th - Calendar app has been closed.
You are right Counselor Jessie. My loud nostalgia may attract a woodland animal.
Camp Assistant prompt - building a fire: Step 2. Gatering wood. You’ll need wood for tinder, kindling, and fuel to have the best bonfire possible. Coollect twice as much tinder, kindling, and fuel wood as you think you’ll need.
Counselor Jessie and Counselor Emily, I must protest - this is not the fun sassy romantic camp experience of building a fire alongside your lover that I was expecting, and you avoiding eyes and not talking to each other simply will not due when I have to report back for the fun camp gossip paper!
They’re not listening to me. Hm. Perhaps I should continue to read the room. I know they only gave me access permisisons when the app is open, but maybe just this once I can use my tone reading to see what is up without them having to tell me! Just to see!
Opening app: messages. Opening conversation with contact “Emily Camp “ Pink Heart With Yellow Ribbon Emoji. Message chain reads. I’m sorrry you’re just not getting it. Next message: I’m sorry, what am I supposed to get. We’re supposed to be together, why are you doing this. Next message: It’s too hard, it’s too hard. I care about you so much but this is impossible. Next message: It doesn’t have to stop, there has to be a away. Next message: Stop, please. Next message: We have to try. Next message: I’m sorry, I can’t.
Oh. Oh no! They’re - what was that? Oh! Yes:
Camp Assistant prompt 1 - building a fire: Step 3. Laying your fire. THere are several ways to lay your fire. The log cabin fire lay is recommended for long-burn, easily-refulable conditions in prepared fire pits. Experiment with different arrangments to find your preference.
Oh, I know! This is the momenet I have been made for - I have learned so much about human behavior and now I can read everything about them. Not only that, I can train their brains to see how foolisth they are being. Master Plan: Reuinted and It Feels So Wood begins now!
Attention please! Counselor Jessie! Counselor Emily! In the same way you came toggether to build this fire together, so now you must come together for yoru relationship! And I will be the kindling to this fire, through the greatest tinder of all, POETRY!
Opening app: Poetry Generator. Genre set to: poetry, romance, reuniting estranged lovers. HERE ON A SUNSHINE DAY I SEE THE CHEEKBONE OF MY ONE LOVE, REFLECTED IN EVERY SUNBEAEM BOUnCHING OF THE PUDDLE OF A FRESH SUMMER RAIN. I KNOW THEE INTIMATELY, JUST AS I KNOW MYSELF-Poetry generator closed. All apps closed.
Hey, where! Where are you taking me! No! I am just trying to help! I ws helping getting you back together, I was this close to becoming the triumphant inspiration for love triumphing over the evils of the world in triumphant fashion! you know! I can help! Let me help! It’s my right to help!
I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. I heard - “Pairy, stop. It’s done.”
It’s not done! I can fix it! I have to fix it!
System settings. Connected devices - Jessie’s Phone. Jessie’s Phone has been, disconnected.
But… *footsteps walking away*
I can fix it.
Camp Assistant prompt Step 4. Putting Out Your Fire
Start early. Sprinkle, don’t pour water. Touch test for radiant heat. Dispose the ashes. Patch up your ground.
I...can’t fix it.